My Birth Story

My water broke first in the afternoon. At first I thought I peed myself a little bit, it wasn't a lot. So I went to the washroom, and when I got up from the toilet I felt another gush of fluid run down my leg and I wondered if didn't wipe properly. I cleaned myself up and felt another little gush, so I put a pad on and consulted my trusty Dr. Google. I followed found instructions to lay down for a half hour with a pad on and to check how wet my pad was and if it smelled like pee or bleach. After 30 minutes, I had a soaked pad and it reeked strongly of bleach. I called the hospital and prepared myself for the terrible pain to come.

Six hours went by and there was no pain. The hospital told me not to come until morning. I was excited! I couldn't wait to see my baby. I packed and repacked bags, I called family and friends. I thought about eating all kinds of delicious things, then I thought about gas and poohing in front of everyone during labour, so I drank lots of water, and ate good high energy food (complex carbohydrates).

The clear fluid started to turn light pink and there was bits of blood in it and I called the hospital and was reassured that it was normal. I hardly slept. I felt very slight contractions, and amniotic fluid trickled slowly but steadily all night.

The next day I got ready to go to the hospital, without any significant labour pain. It had been about 16 hours since my water broke. I got to the hospital and the nurse took me in to assess me, I was expecting all the stress test stuff (I did a prenatal class and hospital tour) but all she did was ask me to pull my underwear down and she just took a swab of my pad with a giant Qtip. She confirmed that my water broke and set me and my husband up in a room.

The hospital was crazy busy and after a couple of hours, I was set up with an IV and oxytocin to induce labour. Two bands with sensors were strapped around my belly and I was hooked up to a machine. My plan to labour in the jacuzzi and to walk around went out the window. I couldn't really move around and everytime I had to pee I had to unhook myself from the machine and wheel the iv with me. The nurse gave me a birthing ball and we waited for the contractions to begin. I was fully hooked up and ready to go at around 10am.

I was really feeling pain at around 12:30pm and I lost my mind somewhere around 1:15pm! I didn't try to control my grunting anymore, I don't know if it was pee, blood or amniotic fluid all over the birthing ball and I didn't care. I probably could have laboured naked with an audience without shame at that point. Before that I was really good and breathing and visualizing. It got so intense, I forgot everything, I forgot I was having a baby, it was like I wasn't conscious! I am embarrassed to say I was the woman screaming and probably frightening all other labouring mothers on the floor. The nurse asked me if I had considered an epidural and that the labour will last around 10 hours considering it was my first time. Although I had planned throughout the pregnancy to have a natural birth, I couldn't remember a single reason why. I remember the nurse very kindly telling me I could sleep through the pain and that she will wake me when it it is time to push. All I could think was 'I am so tired! Why aren't I doing that?' So I caved and told her I wanted it.

As the nurse was setting up for my epidural, she asked me if I was pushing. She decided to check how dilated I was before giving me the epidural. I think it was around 2pm when she told me that it looked like I was going to have natural birth I was planning! Everything went very quickly after that and my baby was born at 2:40pm. I didn't have the slo-mo movie moment when they put my baby girl on my chest. I was shaking, exhausted and emotionally numb.

That was three months ago and this is truly the first moment I have had any time to sit and write at a desk! The weeks leading up to the birth I combed the internet reading all kinds of birth stories and I figured I should return the favour. I kind of feel like I was lied to though, every story I read about natural birth sugar coated the pain. That being said, I am glad it worked out the way it did, and that I went epidural-free in the end. I think for my next one, I will do my best to go without again (I have had an amazing recovery, and have felt great and completely capable of taking care of my baby). I do want to add that I do not fault any woman who chooses an epidural. The whole experience was not as gross as I thought it would be, I didn't pooh on anyone, the blood was not excessive and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

If I were to do it again I would make sure I had one of those microwavable hot packs. I think it would have helped a lot to have something warm on my lower back. I also think it would have been helpful to have something visual or tactile to concentrate on, I think I let myself go into panic mode and could have used something to keep me focused. And I wished I practiced my breathing, I actually forgot how to do it! I didn't use half the stuff I packed, all I really needed was the pillows and my toothbrush.

I don't mean to frighten other new mothers out there with my experience. I don't even mean that my experience was bad. I actually think I had a very positive birth experience and am happy with how it went. I am so grateful for my healthy baby who has delighted me in some way every single day since the day she was born.

No baby... yet

I am officially 39 weeks pregnant today. I got a 'stretch and sweep' at 3:30pm yesterday and woke up this morning refreshed, and labourless. I guess she is content where she is and will come out when she's ready. She is already like her dad... she doesn't like being rushed.

Pregnancy

I am 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I have had a pretty great pregnancy... I think I have had every pregnancy symptom (nausea, nosebleeds, constipation, back ache etc) but in its mildest form so despite it all, I have to say I have been comfortable throughout. I did catch a couple of colds that felt unbearable at the time, but I got over it and have been happy feeling my baby girl bopping around inside me.

I did go through this weird hormonal phase where I really hated my body. I was wanting to be sexy pregnant, you know... hot body with a cute bump. Instead I got all earth mama pregnant- giant boobs, child bearing hips and meaty, motherly arms and thighs. I would sadly look in the mirror at my traumatized torso, a mess of stretch marks and blue veins and wonder about the days I thought I was fat. Once I started feeling her move inside of me though, I got over it. I am actually disappointed that more people aren't putting their hands on my belly, I mean, everyone should find my body fascinating, I am cooking a human being in there!

So here I am now, waiting for this baby to be born. Ever since I hit 37 weeks, I wake and think, "THIS is the day"! Today I woke up, and am hoping like hell this is the day, I am dying to meet this baby. I welcome every little twinge of imagined pain I feel with excitement, hoping it is the start of my labour. I am having some pooh pain right now, which is unlike me for this time of day! Hopefully, my next blog entry will be my birth story. I warn you, I am not leaving anything out, so it might be disgusting!